The Endless Summer

Unless you’re independently wealthy, you probably can’t afford to send your kids away to camp for a month. Wow, a month…that would be frickin’ awesome!

Sorry, I was drifting there...

In fact, depending on your financial situation, you may not be able to sign them up for all sorts of summer activities (Day Camps, Swimming lessons…) If that’s the case, you’re probably wondering what the hell to do to keep your little ones occupied until school starts. Well, here are a few ideas to keep the monkeys busy.

Now, I should probably tell you that I HATE summer. Yup, you heard right. I hate the heat, I hate the humidity, and the sun is just a gaseous ball of annoyance that can, in my opinion, go f*ck itself.

Personal feelings aside, summer is a time for kids. They should be outdoors, running around and having fun. NOT sitting inside and air conditioned house playing on the computer. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to spend the summer indoors playing on the computer but we’re not talking about me.


Here are my Top Five Cheap Summer Activities:

1. Outdoor Splash Pads – This is my All-Time Favorite! The kids love it and it's free! At least it is where I live; you may have to pay a small admission fee but it's well worth it considering the energy your kids will expel for the next few hours. Arrive early and secure a spot under a tree/umbrella because you’re not the only person who will be thinking of taking the kids to the splash park. That’s for damn sure!

2. Kite Flying – This is one of those activities best reserved for a windy day (Duh) If you attempt flying a kite when it’s NOT windy, and the humidity is 90-100%, you will give yourself a stroke…a heart attack at the very least. However, if conditions are just right, head over to the dollar store and grab yourself a kite. If you manage to keep it in the sky for longer than 10 seconds, your kids will think you’re a god. Also, when the kite crashes a ¼ mile away, it’s nice to have to have someone around to go get it.

3. The Library – The library is a perfect place to take the kids on those days that are WAY too hot for outdoor play. The bigger the library, the better. They have all kinds of free activities for the kids to participate in but remember, this is a LIBRARY and all of the activities are literary based. If your kids catch wind that they are learning during summer vacation, they will turn on you.


4. Hiking / Bike Trails – These trails can be found all over the place. They’re free and are a great way for the kids to get some exercise. Personally I’ve never used a hiking or bike trail since I don’t have a bike and walking is for losers. But hey, if that’s your thing, enjoy!

5. Pools – Swimming is one of the BEST ways to keep your kids active and healthy. Now, I can’t stand public pools. They’re always packed and you pay way too much just for a chlorine bath. Take my advice; find a friend with a pool…anyone. Even if you’re not keen on the person, it’s well worth a few hours of inane banter in the backyard so that your kids can have a great time frolicking in a private pool.

Well, there are my Top Five Summertime Activities that will barely make a dent in your wallet. So toss on a hat, put on your shades, lather on the sunscreen and go have some fun!